We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
