Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
