I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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