i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Two words: nipple clamps
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