Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You are the jesus of drinking
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
