Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
where does the pee come out of this thing
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize