She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
