and you said cock pushups were impossible
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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