Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
