shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
