Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
