Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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