it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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