Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize