The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Are we still banned from the library?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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