I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
