girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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