3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
