How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
