i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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