You smell like a Billy Joel song
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
