She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
