I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
