I'm lost and stupid without you.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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