Me too!
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Just high enough for therapy.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
