just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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