well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize