At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Just cropdusted the office
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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