Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
