if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
