she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
