Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
