I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
