I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
