I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
