he puts the penis in happiness.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
