Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Is it because I queefed?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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