guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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