Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I checked into jail on foursquare
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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