I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
