I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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