Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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