I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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