this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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