what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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