we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I have post one night stand depression
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
