Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
