I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
