Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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