i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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