I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
