let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
