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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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