are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
