when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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