i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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