I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
