I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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