Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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