ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
