At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
