how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
