I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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