Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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